Amnesia and Insanity
by whitedoyle
Summary: Conan gets kidnapped? Seen it. Conan gets kidnapped and gets amnesia? Seen it. Conan gets kidnapped, gets amnesia, and there's a potato? Alright...I was kidding about the potato. But Kaitou Kid is the kidnapper because...well, why not.
1. Chapter 1

The first thing he noticed was the throbbing in his head, the dull ache that emanated from somewhere between his eyes. It made his mind a bit foggy, made it a bit difficult to piece together his thoughts. The second thing he noticed was the smell, an awful smell that filled his nostrils entirely. Reflexively, he tried to pinch his nose to avoid the stench, but even then, he could taste it in his mouth.

_What is that smell? _he thought, finally managing to put together a complete idea.

The answer eluded him, just out of reach, as if it were concealed by the fog of his mind, the fog from his headache. Oh, how his head ached. He reached a hand up to touch the spot where the pain was coming from. There was something crusty there. Dried blood? His blood?

He suddenly sat up, realizing that he had been lying down the entire time. From a sitting position, he had a much clearer view of the surroundings, but something wasn't quite working right. As he stared at the objects around him, each gave him a feeling of familiarity. And yet, he was only able to identify some of them, the others failing to come to mind. That's when a question popped into his head.

"Where am I?" he managed, his own voice sounding quite foreign to his ears. It was a rather simple question, and yet, when he tried to recall, tried to force his mind to cooperate, the only answer he obtained was a sharp pain in his head. He...couldn't remember- either where he was or how he had gotten there.

Getting off the bed, he planted two feet on the ground and stood up. Then he noticed where the smell had been coming from; the room was littered with garbage: old food, used cans, and bottles of some mysterious yellow liquid. There was what appeared to be a window, but it had been boarded up, leaving the room fairly dark. The only light seemed to come from the closed door, indicating a hallway beyond the room.

He stood in place, feeling the fog in his mind slowly receding. A second glance and he could identify more things now, call them by name: a cellphone, a television, a laptop, some chemistry equipment. But the question of location still eluded him.

A sudden beeping drew his attention; it had come from beyond the door. He recognized it as the sound of a microwave that had run out its timer. Was there someone else around? For reasons he couldn't quite understand, his body suddenly tensed at the prospect, his heart starting to beat a bit faster. It actually surprised him, how ferociously his heart was pounding in his chest. So much so that he lifted a hand to his chest to feel the rhythmic _Lub, Dup, Lub, Dup…_

A second clatter once again drew away his attention. This time though, it wasn't fear, but curiosity, which seized him. He wasn't sure why, but he felt compelled to investigate the mysterious noises, to explore more of his surroundings. The initial hesitation was gone, replaced by the need to understand. Slowly, he opened the door.

The hallway was rather dimly lit and only appeared bright in contrast to the darkness of the room. At the end of the hall was a set of stairs. _Not the fancy spiral kind_, he thought to himself only to wonder where such information had come from. He could only manage first-order thoughts. Thoughts about his thoughts were still beyond his reach. One step after another, he made his way to the stairs and then down them. Thirty steps later, he was at the bottom.

The first floor was a mirror image of the second, garbage scattered all over the place. He wasn't sure if the smell was any better or he had simply become accustom to the stench. Directly in front, he could see another door, presumably leading outside the house. On the door were five different types of locks, bolting the door shut. To the left was another room, family room maybe? But it was the right that drew his interest, as that was the direction the movements were coming from.

He made his approach cautiously, unsure what to expect. And unsure he was when he actually entered what appeared to be the kitchen. At the counter was a teenage, seventeen, eighteen maybe, busy stabbing away at a pizza with a knife. Not cutting. Stabbing. A maniacal laugh could occasionally be heard. He stared at the teen for a moment, before finally interrupting the strange scene.

"What are you doing?" he asked. A simple question, but it caught the teen completely off guard. The teen instantly spun around, knife in hand. A deranged look could be seen in the teen's eyes. Strangely though, he wasn't afraid. _Should I be afraid?_ He didn't have much time to think about it though; as soon as it appeared, it was gone, the crazed look that is. Clarity quickly washed over the teen's eyes, softening them, as he put the knife back down on the counter.

"Ah, Tantei-kun! You're finally awake! You must be starving after sleeping for two whole days," the teen said, a smile working its way onto the teen's face. Somehow, the smile seemed artificial, but he couldn't quite point out why. And had he really been sleeping for two days? Now that it was mentioned, he could feel his stomach begin to rumble, the emptiness beginning to reveal itself. But another question had arisen with the teen's words. _Tantei-kun?_ Who was that? Was it him?

Normally, one doesn't think about one's own name or one's own identity. Normally, there's an implicit cohesion to one's thoughts, the big "I" that holds one's consciousness together. But the teen's words had prompted the abnormal. Who was the "I" in this case?

More so than where was he, the question that now eluded him was: who was he?


	2. Chapter 2

**Kaito's Stream of Consciousness**

Are you familiar with the term _insanity_? A four syllable word comprised of nine letters. Four times nine, thirty six. Six away from the answer to everything. I-N-S-A-N-E-I-T-Y.

What's that you say? I've spelled it wrong? There's no 'E'? See, that's where you're ignorant. Insanity is the _I_ who is _insane_. It has to be INSANE-I-TY. What's the TY then? **T**hank **Y**ou, come again!

But enough drabble on semantics. What does insanity mean? Let's see…Merriam-Webster! Insanity (n.): a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder.

What's my disorder? Why should I be the one disordered? Is not the world really out of order? Just look at the vending machine that ate my dollar. Is that not a clear enough sign? A sign of conspiracy. Of those who conspire. Against me. Why should they conspire against me? How should I know? Why should I understand _their_ disorder? But they watch. When I sleep. When I eat. They always watch. And know. It's uncanny how much they know. What I like, what I hate, what type of underwear I wear. Yes, you caught me. I'm a boxer man. But I couldn't hold my own in a ring for two seconds.

You see, fighting isn't really my thing. I'm more the sneaky steal-your-lunch-money type. Which reminds me, I'm starving. Let's see. Maybe a pie? Pi? 3.14? I do like circles. Ah, pizza it is then! And lucky me! I have just the right kind. You know, the microwaveable kind. The one with radiation. I wonder if it'll mutate. Oh, if it duplicated, that would be amazing. Two for the price of one!

Hm. Four minutes should be enough. Enough to watch a sunset, to flip the channel four hundred times. Four hundred times what though? Ah, no matter. The pie is almost done.

Isn't time such a strange thing? Such an insane thing? It's so absolute and relative that it's absolutely relative! My time, your time. Time times time. Times time times. Time sounds weird now, doesn't it? That just goes to show how insane time is. Or is it how time insane is?

Insanity, a deranged state of mind. As if I could fit a whole state in my mind. Silly dictionary!

People say insanity is being crazy, that it's the neighbor of genius. I wonder if they fight, Insanity and Genius. Perhaps Insanity borrowed Genius' lawn mower and never gave it back. Perhaps Genius' dog pooped on Insanity's lawn.

A dog would be fun wouldn't it? I kind of fancy myself as a dog person. In my spare time, I like running around and barking. I don't do that whole marking the territory thing though. I need the pee for other things. What things? Things. Don't press the issue. Your hand might get quite nasty.

Ah, the pizza's done! Mhm, I can smell it now! I can feel my cholesterol rising! Oh, it's glorious! Hold on. What's this? Why hath the edge been burneth? Is this…an assassination attempt? Oh, how clever. How very clever the organization is today! BUT! You are still a thousand years too young to challenge me, the great Kaito Kuroba! I see right through your ploy! Just you wait, organization scum!

Let's see, let's see. Now where did I put that knife? A machete? A fruit knife? Ah, here's the one I'm looking for. My favorite! Begone! Away with you, you spawn of the devil! Hahaha! Ahahaha!

"What are you doing?" a voice asks me. That voice! Can it be? My sleeping beauty has finally awoken! Or am I the sleeping beauty that needs awakening? Then he's my knight in shining armor. Or prince. You know what I mean.

Well, this is it! This is the moment I've been waiting for. At long last! Now, calm down. Ask nicely and you will be given all things. The key lies in control. And a kind smile. But mostly control.

"Ah, Tantei-kun! You're finally awake! You must be starving after sleeping for two whole days," I say, turning away from the pizza. I can deal with that later. For now, I need something else for my little detective friend. Something safer. Maybe I should make that pie.

"Tantei-kun?" the little voice asks, "I-is that my name?"

What's this? Why would he say such a thing? It couldn't be, could it? Oh, it could, it could. But why? Of all things why? Wait, make sure first. Calm.

"Of course! You're Tantei-kun." Maybe he just needs a little reminder. It has been two days. Two days is a long time, a long insanity.

"I-I can't remember," the boy says tentatively.

No. No, no, no, no, no. No! Is he for real? He's holding his head. But that doesn't mean anything. What if he just has an itch? Don't be stupid Kaito. It's not an itch.

This isn't supposed to happen. No! Oh, Kami-sama! Why have you done this? Why have you brought about insanity upon Tantei-kun? Oh! I don't know. I don't know if I can handle this. This might be the end. Kami-sama, just take me now. Take me from this insane world.

Oh, speaking of which, are you familiar with the term _insanity_? I-N-S-A-N-E-I-T-Y. A disorder of the mind. But you know what is more insane than a disorder of the mind? Repetition of the body. Mediocrity is the true insanity.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat…


	3. Chapter 3

Who was he?

It was a simple question, but one with not so simple consequences. After all, what was reality but what the "I" made of it? And now with his "I" suddenly missing, a wave of panic washed over the boy. How would he know what to like? How would he know how to feel? How would he know anything? everything?

The panic was paralyzing, but only for a moment. As soon as it had started, some unknown machinery within the boy's brain jump-started into motion and pushed back against the panic.

_Remain calm. Control your breathing, _the boy thought, as if reciting the words out of habit; they were at the same time his own and not. _Observe. Deduce. Conclude._

"Tantei-kun?" the boy asked aloud, trying to slow down his breathing, "Is that my name?"

At that point, the teen gave him a curious look, lying somewhere between anger and grief, before saying, "Of course! You're Tantei-kun."

_Of course. You're Tantei-kun, _the boy repeated in his mind. He let the words play around a bit, settle in the crevices of his brain. Was the teen telling the truth? The teen appeared so certain of his "I".

"Tantei-kun," the boy mouthed silently, staring down at the ground. "I-I can't remember," he said tentatively, lifting his gaze. The boy lifted his hand as well, to once again probe the injury at the back of his head. _An injury like this_, the boy began, his mind intuitively leading his thoughts. Facts began pouring in from some unknown corner of his brain.

Had he suffer a sudden blow to the head? Amnesia could explain his loss of memory, could explain why he couldn't even remember his own name.

_Speak of which, _the boy thought. In spite of the teen's confidence, "Tantei" wasn't a name. Tantei. Detective. A "type of" person. Not a person's name. Had the teen lied to him? But to what end? Could it have been the teen who caused the amnesia in the first place? But there was something else strange about the whole affair. Even if the teen had lied, his confidence was genuine. It spoke of familiarity, of recognition. The teen surely knew him; they were no strangers.

The boy was about to press this point, to inquire more about what the teen knew, but a sudden cry from the teen stopped him. The teen threw a hand over his face, and dramatically collapsed against the kitchen counter, practically lying on top of it for support. A noise could be heard, but the boy wasn't sure if it was crying or hysterical laughter. Somehow though, the teen's strange behavior caused the boy to forget about his own problems, instead redirecting his attention to whatever was ailing the teen at the moment.

"Are you alright, Oniisan?" the boy asked, sincerity evident in his voice.

At the sound of the boy's voice, the teen paused, motionless for a moment. Then slowly, he lifted his head, directing his gaze towards the boy. A rather malicious expression could be seen on his face. "What," he began slowly, licking his lips, "did you just call me?"

The boy looked on, unsure what to make of the erratic teen. Ultimately, he just decided to repeat his previous statement. "Oniisan?" he said.

For a split second, the teen's expression grew even darker, his smile growing just a little more curled, his nose becoming just a little more crinkled. But then the second passed, as did the expression. It was replaced with bemused joy.

"Kawaii!" the teen exclaimed, picking up the boy in his arms and swinging him around in circles.

"W-what?" the boy exclaimed in surprise, though his voice was muffled by the teen's chest. After the both of them were sufficiently dizzy from spinning, the teen finally put the boy down.

"I knew it was the right plan to kidnap you," the teen said with a nod of the head.

"You did what?" the boy remarked, eyes narrowing.

"I mean, er, it was the right plan to save you from the clutches of the organization!" the teen corrected, laughing madly. The boy's continued glare prompted the teen to add, "That's right! The organization was about to kill you. But I managed to swoop in and rescue you before it happened!"

"And what was that whole thing about kidnapping?" the boy asked, pressing the issue.

"I have no recollection of such a thing," the teen remarked innocently.

_Who's the one with amnesia?_ the boy thought sarcastically. "And who is this 'organization'?" the boy asked, dropping the issue of the kidnapping. It was evident that he'd get no more out of the teen about it.

"You don't know about the organization?!" the teen exclaimed, as if some great sin was just committed. The teen's tone of voice made the boy feel as if he should have known about such an organization. But nothing came to mind. _In fact_, the boy realized, he couldn't remember much of anything about the world. He couldn't remember what the world was like, what the world contained. He just knew facts, like memory loss was a symptom of amnesia. But what day it was, what people lied beyond the walls of the house, he couldn't quite find the answer in his mind.

Had he somehow lost all episodic memory?

"I can't remember," the boy finally replied, looking into the teen's eyes. "Could you tell me about it, this organization?" Even if the teen was prone to lying and erratic behavior, there might be a seed of truth in his words. And at this point, the boy could use any information he could get his hands on. Maybe the more he heard, the likelier it was that something would spark in his brain and return his memories.

"Very well," the teen said, "I shall tell you about the evil that is currently plaguing Earth." The teen paused for dramatic effect before continuing. "You see, the organization currently has a hand in everything: agriculture, science, education, business. They manipulate everything from the shadows and what they don't like disappear. People they don't like...get squashed." The teen clasped his hands together, as if squishing a small insect.

Was there such an organization? The boy tried to remember, tried to recall, but nothing came to mind. He couldn't tell, however, if that was because of his amnesia or because no such organization ever existed. "What does the organization want?" the boy asked, trying to build a more comprehensive picture.

"Control," the teen snapped. "They want to control everything and everyone. They want to make everyone a pawn in their game. And they've almost succeeded, but..." the teen said, letting his words drift off.

"But-?" the boy asked, prompting the teen to continue.

"But I've managed to escape their control," the teen said slyly, giving the boy a wink.

The teen's remark reminded the boy of something. "Who are you anyways, Oniisan?" the boy asked, realizing that in addition to not knowing who he himself was, he had no idea who the teen was either.

"Me?" the teen asked, stepping back in surprise, "I'm the great phantom thief, Kaitou KID, of course!"

"Kaitou KID?" the boy repeated, letting the words echo in his thoughts.

"Does the name ring a bell?" KID asked expectantly.

"Nn-en," the boy said, shaking his head, "But you know, Kaitou-niisan, it's not good to be a thief. Stealing is bad."

"Stealing...is bad?" KID repeated, suddenly bursting into laughter.

"What's so funny?" the boy asked, noticing KID was still laughing.

"It's nothing," KID managed between laughs.

"Tell me," the boy whined.

"No," KID said, this time much more serious. KID looked over at the boy and gave him a glare. The boy stared right back, defiant.

A sudden rumbling from the boy's stomach broke their locked gazes, however.

KID smirked. "Shall I get us something to eat?"


	4. Chapter 4

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat...

To live is to repeat, to repeat is to live. Repetition is life and what is life but one long repetition? You see, herein lies the secret, the script. After all, life is but a stage and all are actors. And what is an actor? One who acts. And to what does one act? In accordance with a script.

Ah script, how I love and hate thee. Your curves throw me for a loop. Why can't you just be straight with me? After all, your existence only comes to light at the signing of my name!

Name. Curse the subject. Why has Tantei-kun forgotten his own name! Kami-sama, is this your doing? Is there no way to restore what was lost?

Oh cruel world! Oh cruel script! The pen is mightier than the sword! But what about the pencil? The pen leaves permanence. But erasure! Oh what a grand power that is. To erase the mistakes of the past. To alter the course of the future. A pencil is mighty, don't you think?

Or so I thought. And so I sought out the pencil that was Tantei-kun, that he may erase my past. The ironies of fortune, though! Oh the irony that it is _his_ past that should be erased. And so now what is he, a pencil who has lost the ability to erase. Is he not merely a pen now?

Not that there's anything wrong with pens. After all, where else would farmers keep mad cows? But I digress; someone is talking.

"Daijoubu, Onii-san?"

The voice draws me in, causing me to peek out from under my arm. Are my ears deceiving me? This wouldn't be the first time. Ever since the organization took control of the world, people have been having all sorts of strange hallucinations. Still, I believe I heard correctly. I believe Tantei-kun said _oni_, call me a demon. Or perhaps it is o_nii_. But that'd be silly, would it not, that the brilliant detective should so candidly think of me as big brother.

"What did you call me?" I ask, listening for the boy's response. Would it be Oni or Onii? Am I the demon or the brother? Or perhaps a bit of both?

"Onii-san?" he repeats, and in that one moment, reality changes.

It's repetition, you see. Repetition is reality; repetition is life. And his repetition has made it my reality. We are family. We are brothers now. And as for my little brother, gone is the deadpan expression, the biting sarcasm, replaced by an openness of the face, a sincerity of the voice. For a moment, he ceases to be the stoic, cocky detective of the past, and instead, becomes genuinely childlike. Just like a real little brother.

I cannot help my outburst. "So cute!" I exclaim, sweeping the boy off his feet and spinning him around. He mumbles something but I can't hear and don't care, the sudden adorableness of the boy gripping my attention.

Little brother. Little brother. I have a little brother. What an interesting turn of events this is! And so I spin and I spin and I spin some more. But who is revolving around who? Am I the one spinning? Or is the world spinning around me? Oh, if only Galileo Galilee were still around. He'd know for sure!

At any rate, Tantei-kun is probably dizzy enough, so I put him down. He stands there and I look on curiously, wondering if the dynamic can last. If he or I say it enough times, will it really become reality? Repetition is reality. Can we really be brothers? Repetition is life. Or will he just leave me, like everyone else has? After all, life is but a stage and such is my script. And given that Tantei-kun is a mere pen now, he cannot amend my script.

An idea suddenly comes to mind, a test, a game. I smile.

"I knew it was the right plan to kidnap you," I say, making sure Tantei-kun hears me.

And what would he do? Would he leave? Knowing what I've done, would he abandon me? Or would he be as a little brother should, loyal to the end, no matter what? As a pen, will Tantei-kun be there to write my future?

Upon hear my remark, Tantei-kun looks surprised. "You did what?" he says; his eyes narrow as he glares at me.

Ah, there it is, the annoying old self appearing again. Perhaps the past is not so easily erased. Perhaps even fate is a poor eraser. I sigh, disappointed at the evaporation of my cute little brother and the future that we were yet to have.

"I mean, er, it was the right plan to save you from the clutches of the organization!" I recount, rather disinterestedly now that the game was over, "That's right! The organization was about to kill you. But I managed to swoop in and rescue you before it happened!"

"And what was that whole thing about kidnapping?" Tantei-kun asks, pressing the issue. Internally, I sigh again, growing bored of the conversation, of the repetition. After all, I had already told him the truth of the matter. Why was he interested in a falsehood?

"I have no recollection of such a thing," I say, drawing a weird look from the boy. He thinks for a moment. I can see the gears churning in that little head of his. Then he asks another question.

"And who is this 'organization'?"

Oh and he's done it now. He's asked about something he shouldn't have. The organization has killed people for asking less. And here is Tantei-kun, asking such a bold question. Although his bravery is commendable. Who is the Organization? Ha! It's a good thing I've already rid the house of wiretaps, else we'd both be dead by now. But for his bravery, I shall reward him with an answer.

"You don't know about the organization?!" I probe, testing just how badly the boy wants to know.

"I can't remember," Tantei-kun says, "Can you tell me about it, this organization?"

Interesting, very interesting, Tantei-kun! "Very well, I shall tell you about the evil that is currently plaguing Earth. You see, the organization currently has a hand in everything: agriculture, science, education, business. They manipulate everything from the shadows and what they don't like disappear. People they don't like...get squashed," I explain.

"What does the organization want?" Tantei-kun asks.

Ha! What does the organization want? What a moot question. What _doesn't _the organization want? Still, I answer.

"Control. They want to control everything and everyone. They want to make everyone a pawn in their game. And they've almost succeeded, but..." I say, blatantly stringing Tantei-kun along. He buys it, hook line and sinker.

"But-?"

"But I've managed to escape their control," I say, giving Tantei-kun a wink.

Tantei-kun looks at me curiously. "Who are you anyways, Oniisan?" the boy asked.

Who am I? Ha! A fun opportunity has presented itself. I could say anything, be anyone: a famous rock star, the president of some country, an alien. And yet for some reason, I opt for the truth. "I'm the great phantom thief, Kaitou KID, of course!"

"Kaitou KID?" Tantei-kun repeats, a look of deep concentration crossing his face.

"Does the name ring a bell?" I ask, wondering just how poor fate's eraser really is.

"Nn-en," Tantei-kun says, shaking his head, "But you know, Kaitou-niisan, it's not good to be a thief. Stealing is bad."

"Stealing...is bad?" I repeat, bursting into laughter. Kami-sama, looks like the joke is on you! You tried to erase Tantei-kun's past, but Tantei-kun is Tantei-kun through and through.

"What's so funny?" Tantei-kun asks, but I just shake my head. "Tell me," Tantei-kun whines.

"No," I repeat, determined to keep the joke between myself and Kami-sama. I give Tantei-kun a glare but he stares back unwaveringly. That is, until his stomach begins to growl. I can't help but smirk.

"Shall I get us something to eat?" I ask.

* * *

"So you really don't remember anything?" I repeat as I watch Tantei-kun dig into the blueberry pie. 3.14. I guess pie is a good idea after all. Tantei-kun just shakes his head, taking another spoonful of blueberry gooiness. I, on the other hand, wonder about the situation. Even with Tantei-kun's memory gone, the plan could still work. "Actually, it's probably better this way," I mutter, and Tantei-kun, ears as sharp as ever, hears.

"What was that, Kaitou-niisan?" he asks, calling me big brother once more. I want to buy into the relationship again, but show restraint this time.

"Nothing," I shrug off, resting my head on my hand as I watch Tantei-kun eat. The boy notices me watching and pauses, looking up. I can tell he's trying to read me, read my thoughts. Just like old times, eh? Well, how about this then, Tantei-kun?

Abruptly, I lean over the table, mere inches from Tantei-kun. "You have some pie on your face," I say as I dart out a tongue and lick off the pie crumbs sitting at the edge of his mouth. Then I sit back in my seat, my tongue licking my lips. "Delicious."

Tantei-kun just looks at me with innocent, and rather confused, eyes. His cheeks have turned a rosy pink color. I wonder if his heart is beating fast. At the very least, I can tell he's no longer trying to read me, his mind wandering elsewhere. His eyes wander as well, drifting down to the pie as he tries his hardest to avoid eye contact. Delectable.

Still, play time's over. The first act is coming to a close and the second act must begin. The show must go on.

"Ne, Tantei-kun," I ask, breaking the boy out of his thoughts, "Want to go on an adventure?"

Tantei-kun looks up at me, evidently unsure how to respond. But I know what his answer will be. He is a pen after all. And what does a pen do but write the future? You see, life is but a stage and all are actors following a script. And once you repeat the script enough times, it becomes reality.


End file.
